when i’m done dealing with someones shit
God: Hey Jews.
God: So listen, guys, I’m thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion.
God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing.
Jews: We don’t follow.
God: Okay, work with me here, guys….
Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them
"suck my dick" ok
“bite me” hell yeah
"kiss my ass" sure
"Fuck you" well if you insist.
"my mother was right about you, you’re pathetic, you’ve got no job, and you’ve got no future" if you insist
one of the scariest things to happen to me was when dad caught a shark and put it in the freezer and i didnt know and at like 3am i came down half asleep with only the flashlight on my phone to see and i opened the freezer and there was a fuckign shaRK
I will never not reblog this gif set whenever it comes across my dash.
Step by Step: A Great way of Painting your own Mural without Knowing how to Draw
lady gaga as a mom
THERE ARE SNAKES IN MY BOOT
This is what conventions are all about.